i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
