I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
