I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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