Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
