It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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