What a fucking waste of an outfit
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
