i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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