His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
