adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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