How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
