You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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