someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
