adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
