when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
