Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
