there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woke up backwards on a recliner
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
