Will you blow on my dice?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
