i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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