I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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