sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
