susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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