Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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