You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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