we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She told me I should be a condom model.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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