this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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