Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know her cup size but not her name....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
