saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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