he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
