I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
