very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
