i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
