cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
