drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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