One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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