If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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