you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
