If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
