I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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