I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
