she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
