sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
