She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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