I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
