So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
