I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
