its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
