this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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