Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
nutella sex= disaster
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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