Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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