Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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