Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
