Nicole vs. Life
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize