you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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