You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
