Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
