that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My ass is underappreciated
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
