so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize