When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
