Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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