It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
