is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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