I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
one might say we're banned from that church
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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