Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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