During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
tell me about the fingering
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