we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sext me about skeletons
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
