We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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