I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
